i wrote this peom in class instead of doing my work any critics would be welcome
The Pendle Witches Poem
The Pendle witches were a fright
They slept through the day and woke in the night
They had big noses and big warts
They murdered people and bewitched their goats
Some of the witches were nutters
So lock your doors and close your shutters
In the water witches could float
That’s how a lot of them were caught
A lot of witches had cauldrons to cook
And they got a lot of spells from a book
To the devil they did sell their soul
So they had familiars to follow them all
Clay models of their victims were made
This is how witches were portrayed
A lot of witches were arrested
And not one of them protested
When the witches had their trial
Some had smirks and some had smiles
From the confessions that they spilled
The jury said that they must be killed
They went to the gallows to be hung
In just 5 minutes they had swung
That is the Pendle Witches story
The ending for them was no doubt gory
Can anyone really trust this story?
Or did Roger Nowell just want glory
Should all those people have been destroyed?
Or was King James just paranoid
Unless we find some definite proof
We will never know the real truth
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,852 Reviews
THE GOOD
It's really cute. I could just see it in a little kid's book somewhere. It's funny in spots and you kept with the couplet format nicely (I would have torn out my hair in frustration).
THE BAD
Some of your rhymes were awkward. I had to go back and reread the lines over again sometimes, which always disrupts the reader's flow over the piece. The rhythm was off in places too, as if each couplet was separate from the rest. I don't want to sound mean but some of the verses were a little bit boring. Sorry. Like this one--Some of the witches were nutters/so close your windows, lock your shutters.
THE ADVICE
work on your rhymes, try to get them more, well, rhyme-y. Go back over it and get he rhythm thing straightened out. Try to make it a little more captivating. Drag out the thesaurus and look up interesting new words to make the poem sparkle. Try dropping the couplet format and go for four lines to a verse. Keep working on this poem, don't let it flop.
This was cute but some of your rhymes didn't really work which threw off the rhythm and I'd remove the ending. The poem is rather light hearted and fun until it starts with the questions and stuff. Here are my specific suggestion...
The Pendle witches were a fright -
Slept through the day, woke in the night.
They had big noses and big warts
They murdered people and bewitched their goats [This doesn't really rhyme with warts and the line is a bit long so it knocks the rhythm out.]
Some of the witches were nutters
So lock your doors, close your shutters.
In the water, witches could float,
That’s how a lot of them were caught [I don't really like this line and again the rhyme isn't perfect. Perhaps 'Without the need for raft or boat.' Just a suggestion.
They had a cauldron, used to cook,
The recipies from their spell book.
To the devil they sold their soul
So they had familiars to follow them all [This line is too long, mostly due to familiars but I can see the importance of the word. Try and cut a few syllables out perhaps?]
Clay models of their victims [s]were [/s]made,
This is how witches were portrayed.
Lots of witches were arrested
And not one of them protested.
When the witches were held on trial,
Some had smug smirks and some did smile.
From the confessions that they spilled,
The jury said [s]that[/s] they must be killed.
Marched to the gallows to be hung,
In just five minutes they had swung.
That is the Pendle Witches tale,
May good over evil always prevail.
I think that's where I'd cut it but it's up to you and as it is, it's quite a cute little poem. Good luck with any improvement you decide to make.